6 FAQs With Pet Loss Grief Counselor Beth Bigler

By Angelina Simmons, June 9, 2025

There’s no question that losing a pet is one of the most challenging experiences you can ever have. But there are people who may be able to make it easier on you. Author Beth Bigler is among them.

Bigler is a pet loss grief counselor and the author of Honoring Our Animals: 365 Meditations for Healing After Pet Loss. The book aims to support you as you navigate life without your beloved pet.

Read on to get the answers to six of the most common questions people have about finding help and support after pet loss.

What Made You Decide to Become a Pet Loss Grief Counselor?

This work began with Arnie, my soulmate cat. When he was diagnosed with terminal cancer in 2017, I encountered deep anticipatory grief. I learned how to stay present for someone I loved with my whole heart. After a period of remission, a second, aggressive cancer appeared without warning. He transitioned within days.

The shock of that experience changed me. I met other guardians who were also grieving without support, carrying silent heartbreak. There were no meal trains, no sympathy cards, no language for what we were feeling. I saw how marginalized this grief was, and how deeply it needed to be witnessed. I had to do something to help, so I did.

Now, every part of my work is shaped by the love and lessons Arnie gave me. I help other guardians carry their beloved’s presence into whatever comes next, with compassion and ongoing connection.

Are There Signs Your Dog or Cat Is Dying?

The best place to start is always with your veterinarian. They can help you recognize physical changes and shifts in quality of life. My role is to help you stay emotionally grounded during that time.

Animals don’t worry about the future. They are present in ways we often forget how to be. Your steady, calm presence brings more comfort than anything you could say. Keep routines soft and familiar. Let them rest in their favorite spot. Talk to them gently. Tell them they are loved.

Let the moments be simple. Sit beside them. Stroke their fur. Feel their warmth. These everyday rituals matter. You are still living your life together, even as things change.

If your emotions start to overwhelm you, it’s okay to take space. Step away to cry or release what you’re carrying, so that you can return more grounded. Your energy matters. It helps your beloved feel safe.

Care for yourself, too. Resting, eating, breathing, and being kind to yourself will help you be more present with them. Each day together is sacred. Let yourself hold that truth.

How to Know When to Euthanize Your Dog or Cat?

This decision is never easy. It is full of fear, guilt, love, and a longing to get it right. But there is no perfect time. You are doing the best you can with what you know.

I invite guardians to focus on the whole picture. Not just physical signs, but emotional ones too. Is your beloved still finding comfort? Do they still recognize you? Are there moments of connection, even if quiet ones?

Some guardians wait, hoping for clarity that never comes. But this can sometimes bring distress instead of peace. Euthanasia, at its core, is about offering a gentle transition that minimizes suffering. It can be one of the most selfless acts a guardian can offer and honors the relationship and their beloved’s dignity.

This is a personal decision. I don’t give answers, but I hold space for people to listen to their own knowing.

Do the Emotions of Grieving a Pet Come in Waves?

Grief rarely comes all at once. Many people experience it in waves. Some feel nothing at first. That’s common. The mind protects us by slowing down how much we can feel. You may feel numb, foggy, or distant. That doesn’t mean the grief isn’t real. It means your body is taking care of you.

Later, those feelings often rise. A sound, a scent, a familiar routine can bring it all back. You might go days without tears and then fall apart in the grocery store. This is grief doing what it does.

Some guardians feel immediate heartbreak. Others don’t cry for weeks. There is no single way to grieve. It’s all valid.

Be gentle with yourself. Let the tough moments come. Let the quiet in between be part of it too. Your grief reflects your lasting love.

What's the Number One Question People Ask When Losing a Pet?

The question I hear most is, “How will I survive this?”

People are afraid of the pain. Not just the moment of death, but the long silence after. The empty routines. The ache of returning home to absence.

I always say that grief doesn’t mean the relationship ends. You don’t stop loving. You don’t stop remembering. You don’t stop collaborating. The relationship changes, but it continues.

You carry their love, their presence, their lessons. You move with grief, not past it. You find ways to stay connected, even as the shape of that connection evolves.

Ritual helps. Memory helps. Self-compassion helps most of all. Speak to yourself the way your beloved would. With kindness. With patience. With tenderness.

You don’t have to be perfect all the time. You do not have to get it right. You are allowed to cry, to rest, to not know what comes next.

And you are allowed to ask for support. No one is meant to do this alone.

Which Pet Memorial Activities Help the Most?

There’s no single ritual that works for everyone. What helps is choosing what feels meaningful for you.

Some guardians find comfort in formal pet memorial ceremonies. Others prefer quiet, personal acts like lighting a candle, wearing a memorial necklace, creating an altar, or placing their beloved’s photo somewhere sacred.

I’ve encouraged clients to plant trees, create pet memorial gardens, write letters, make art, design custom jewelry, or honor annual celebration days. Some of my clients resonate with a ritual to light incense, play a shared song, or carry a small object in their pocket that reminds them of their beloved’s spirit.

Some create gem paintings or paint-by-number portraits from their favorite photo. Some use tarot cards or spiritual tools to continue the conversation.

It doesn’t have to be elaborate. What matters is that it reflects your bond. Memorial rituals are a way of saying: this love still lives here.